洛娜的博客

Sometimes life seems so difficult. It’s much thornier when you’ve experienced sexual assault. Withdrawal and isolation offer safety and security.

As a child, beginning while I was too young to tell someone what was happening to me, I was sexually abused by three men in my family. When I could speak up, I was punished, so I began building my world of isolation by tiptoeing around my house so I wouldn’t draw attention, and hiding in dark places in hopes of not being found. I retreated to my safe place, even for a short while. In my mind, I pushed the trauma to the dark corners of my memory, and I resolved to trust no one. I felt safer that way.

It’s common for people who have experienced the trauma of sexual assault to withdraw out of shame, hurt and fear. The world can be a hard place sometimes, and a stranger walking toward you can appear dangerous, even though they’re simply passing by. The sounds in our homes—the thunk from the heater, the creek in the floor—all play tricks on our nightly fears. It seems like people know what happened just by looking at you, which is impossible, yet feels so true. Not only that, but they’re also judging you, and you’ve failed.

These factors combine to confine us in isolation. We invent excuses to avoid that party, that dinner, that reunion. And when we go out, we feel out of place, empty, and we withdraw into a safe corner, into our thoughts, into our safe place. We find ourselves with fewer friends, and fewer invitations, and sometimes we even push away the ones we love.

In our isolation, we trap ourselves in the loneliness of never-ending fear, void of the beauty surrounding us, the relationships we could have, the pleasures life offers: laughter, love, friendships and freedom. We don’t even realize that’s what we are doing, yet we slip into a self-imposed isolation, hiding from all the things that can hurt us.

Life can be so much better. I know how hard it is to reach beyond that place of safety toward healing. I spent decades afraid, worried, and lonely even though I was surrounded by a loving family, loyal friends, and the beauty of life. It wasn’t until my fear and worry turned into body-racking panic attacks that left me drained and frightened that I knew I had to break free of the isolation. That’s when I turned to KCSARC.

I shook and cried while dialing the first phone call. A nice, understanding woman came on the line and made me feel everything would be okay. Through weeks of work with a KCSARC counselor, I shed the fear and found safety and security, day-to-day, while opening my world to happiness. I wish that for you too.

Life doesn’t have to be as difficult as it seems, and you don’t have to manage it alone. The trained counselors at KCSARC are ready and eager to help you. Please consider reaching through the barrier of isolation and help yourself heal by calling KCSARC.

KCSARC 的 24 小时资源热线全天候开放，训练有素的倡导者随时准备倾听您的诉求，并提供免费、保密的支持和信息，帮助您确定下一步行动。只要您准备好了，请拨打 1.888.998.6423。

每位幸存者的疗愈和康复之旅都是独特且个性化的。我们“赋能之声”成员分享的想法和经历仅代表作者个人，可能无法反映每位幸存者的经历或历程。文中表达的观点不代表 KCSARC 的组织观点。