Le blog de Lorna

10.16.25

Catégorie: Voix des survivants

Taper: Blog

Membre d'Empowered Voices portant un t-shirt à col en V rayé orange et blanc et un jean bleu avec un chiot beagle sur les genoux sur une couverture à carreaux vert foncé sur de l'herbe avec des bégonias en pot roses et un fond vert boiséSometimes life seems so difficult. It’s much thornier when you’ve experienced sexual assault. Withdrawal and isolation offer safety and security.

As a child, beginning while I was too young to tell someone what was happening to me, I was sexually abused by three men in my family. When I could speak up, I was punished, so I began building my world of isolation by tiptoeing around my house so I wouldn’t draw attention, and hiding in dark places in hopes of not being found. I retreated to my safe place, even for a short while. In my mind, I pushed the trauma to the dark corners of my memory, and I resolved to trust no one. I felt safer that way.

It’s common for people who have experienced the trauma of sexual assault to withdraw out of shame, hurt and fear. The world can be a hard place sometimes, and a stranger walking toward you can appear dangerous, even though they’re simply passing by. The sounds in our homes—the thunk from the heater, the creek in the floor—all play tricks on our nightly fears. It seems like people know what happened just by looking at you, which is impossible, yet feels so true. Not only that, but they’re also judging you, and you’ve failed.

These factors combine to confine us in isolation. We invent excuses to avoid that party, that dinner, that reunion. And when we go out, we feel out of place, empty, and we withdraw into a safe corner, into our thoughts, into our safe place. We find ourselves with fewer friends, and fewer invitations, and sometimes we even push away the ones we love.

In our isolation, we trap ourselves in the loneliness of never-ending fear, void of the beauty surrounding us, the relationships we could have, the pleasures life offers: laughter, love, friendships and freedom. We don’t even realize that’s what we are doing, yet we slip into a self-imposed isolation, hiding from all the things that can hurt us.

Life can be so much better. I know how hard it is to reach beyond that place of safety toward healing. I spent decades afraid, worried, and lonely even though I was surrounded by a loving family, loyal friends, and the beauty of life. It wasn’t until my fear and worry turned into body-racking panic attacks that left me drained and frightened that I knew I had to break free of the isolation. That’s when I turned to KCSARC.

I shook and cried while dialing the first phone call. A nice, understanding woman came on the line and made me feel everything would be okay. Through weeks of work with a KCSARC counselor, I shed the fear and found safety and security, day-to-day, while opening my world to happiness. I wish that for you too.

Life doesn’t have to be as difficult as it seems, and you don’t have to manage it alone. The trained counselors at KCSARC are ready and eager to help you. Please consider reaching through the barrier of isolation and help yourself heal by calling KCSARC.

 

La ligne d'assistance téléphonique 24 heures sur 24 du KCSARC est disponible 24 heures sur 24, 7 jours sur 7, avec des défenseurs formés prêts à vous écouter et à vous fournir un soutien et des informations gratuits et confidentiels pour vous aider à déterminer les prochaines étapes. Lorsque vous êtes prêt, appelez le 1.888.998.6423.

Le parcours de guérison et de rétablissement de chaque survivant est unique et personnel. Les réflexions et expériences partagées par les membres de notre réseau Empowered Voices sont personnelles à l'auteur et peuvent ne pas refléter les expériences ou le parcours de chaque survivant. Les opinions exprimées ne représentent pas celles de l'organisation KCSARC.

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