Online Grooming

Grooming is the process in which sex offenders select and gain access to a victim. While this process is something that professionals have learned a lot about over the years the Internet has provided new challenges in the detection of this process. Grooming can now take place online, in a private setting, at any time of day, making this communication between adults and minors harder to detect and respond to. Here are a few possible indicators that your child may be being groomed by an offender.

Spending excessive amounts of time on-line, especially late at night. Most teens that fall victim to computer-sex offenders spend large amounts of time on-line, particularly in chat rooms. Adolescents on-line are at greatest risk during the evening hours. While offenders are on-line around the clock, most work during the day and spend their evenings on-line seeking pornography or trying to locate and lure youth.
Finding pornography on your teen's computer. Pornography is often used in the sexual victimization of children. Sex offenders often supply their potential victims with pornography as a means of opening sexual discussions and for seduction. Child pornography may be used to normalize sex between children and adults.
Excessively secretive behavior about their online activities. Turning off their monitor as you approach or keeping their internet history file empty are signs that your teen is deliberately keeping activities hidden from you.
Receiving mail, gifts, phone calls or packages from someone under unusual circumstances. As part of the grooming process, sex offenders usually send letters, photographs, and gifts to their potential victims. Computer-sex offenders have even sent plane tickets in order for a child to travel across the country to meet them.
Using an on-line account belonging to someone else. Even if you don't subscribe to an on-line service or internet service, your adolescent may meet an offender while on-line at a friend's house or at the library. Most computers come preloaded with on-line and/or internet software. Computer-sex offenders will sometimes provide potential victims with a computer account for communications with them.
Becoming withdrawn from or having poor relationships with parents, family or friends. Sex offenders both on and off line work very hard to drive a wedge between an adolescent and their family. They will accentuate any minor problems at home that the adolescent might have. Youth may also become withdrawn after sexual victimization.
Making subtle comments about problem s they are facing while online. These may be first attempts by your child at testing to see how you as the parent might react and respond to a particular situation. Stay calm and encourage your teen to share additional information.

In responding to your concerns it is important that you don't overreact. Take the time to calm down before engaging your child in conversations about their online activities. Seek professional guidance if you feel unsure of what to say or do. You may also want to consider using "accountability" or 'monitoring" software if you think your child is a t considerable risk.

When to make a report:

If your child or anyone in the household received child pornography.
Someone who knows that your child is under 18 has sexually solicited your child.
Your child has received sexually explicit images from someone who knows your child is under 18.

Who to make a report with

Center for Missing and Exploited Children 1-800-843-5678 www.missingkids.com/cybertip/ or cybertipline.com
State or Local Law Enforcement Agency