How to Help Your Child Following an Assault

If your child has been assaulted, you may be confused about what to do next. You may have been told by the police or prosecutor's office not to discuss the assault with your child. This does not mean that you can't talk to your child about how they are feeling, if they have concerns or problems, or if they have questions.

Below are some ways you can help your child. Treat your child as you would following any other trauma. Your child needs you to provide love and support, keep communication open, remain consistent and set boundaries.

Continue to believe your child and do not blame your child for what happened
If the assault happened within 72 hours, your child should be seen by a trained emergency room medical doctor or SANE (Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner) nurse. If you reside in King County, Harborview Medical Center is equipped to conduct a comprehensive exam. This initial exam will be directly billed to Crime Victims Compensation and will not be charged to you. Evidence preservation can be an important element in holding an offender accountable to this crime.
If the assault was longer than 72 hours ago, the KCSARC Advocate can help you with information about an appropriate medical exam (from a specialized clinic, or by your family doctor, depending on the circumstances).
Instruct your child to tell you immediately if the offender (or anyone else) attempts sexual molestation again or bothers him/her in any way.
Give your child reassurances and support that she/he is okay.
Respond to questions or feelings that your child expresses about the molestation with a calm, matter-of-fact attitude. Do not pressure your child to talk about it.
Respect the privacy of your child by not telling lots of people or letting other people question her/him.
Try to follow regular routines around the home (expect usual chores, bedtime, rules).
Take the time to talk it over privately with someone you trust--your spouse, a friend, relative or counselor. Express your feelings to that person. Do not discuss the situation in front of your child/children.