For Kids

Learning Personal Safety

You know that your parents and teachers tell you many ways to keep safe.

• "Look both ways before you cross the street."
• "Do not open the door of your house to strangers."

There are some more safety rules you can learn. These safety rules are about touching.

Your body belongs to you. You can help keep it safe and private.

It's not OK for anyone to touch the private parts of your body for any reason. You can say "No."

It is not OK for you to have to keep a secret about touching. It's okay to tell.

If you ever have a touching problem or a touching secret, you can tell an adult you trust. Keep telling until you get help.

Ask your family to help you name two people who will be your safety helpers. These are the people to talk to if you need to ask for help.

Teachers can be safety helpers at school

The school counselor can help, too.

You can practice personal safety when you remember your safety rules:

• Talk to your safety helper if you feel afraid or worried
• Ask for help whenever you need it
• Speak in a firm voice when you say what you want or what you don't want

But The Truth Is...

• The truth is, as great as kids are, no one has magical powers. You do have real common sense tools that can help you be safer. And you're more powerful when you use them.
• When you go somewhere, use the Buddy System.
• Use the routes you and your family decide are best when going to and from school, a friend's house, and other places.
• Always let people know where you will be and check with them regularly.
• Learn and use the "Safety Rules" about touching.
• It would be great to have super powers, wouldn't it? Then you wouldn't have to think about real problems that happen to real kids.

An Exception to the Rules?

• My friends and I were at the playground after school. As we headed for the play shed, a man walked up to us and said, "Hi."
• I recognized him as my new neighbor. I introduced him to my friends and told them how he helped me fix my bike chain last weekend.
• He started to ask some questions about the school and the afternoon activities. I stayed to answer him even though my friends kept walking.
• One of my family's rules is, "Use the Buddy System," which means I should have stayed with my friends. But my neighbor was really friendly and I knew he was a nice guy.
• I kept talking to him and when he asked me to show him the basketball courts and where the restrooms were, I did. When we got near the restrooms, my neighbor grabbed my arm and said he wanted to go inside with him. I didn't know what he wanted but I felt a little scared.
• I said, "No! Let go of my arm!" I pulled away and ran to find my friends. Then my friends and I went inside the school and told a teacher what happened.
• When I was showing my new neighbor around the school I liked feeling helpful and in charge. I didn't like being grabbed and feeling scared and confused. I'm glad I could get away to find help.
• I learned that day that the "Buddy System" is a good safety rule to follow even when everything else seems okay. I also learned I'm safest when I remember to use all the safety rules, even with people I know.

Safety Rules

• My body belongs to me. It's important to keep my body safe and private and treat it with respect.
• It is never OK for anyone to touch the private parts of my body for any reason and ask me to keep it a secret. Even it is someone I know or like.
• It's OK for me to say "No," if I can, to any touching that isn't okay. I can say "No" or "Don't do that," or "I'm going to tell."
• If ever I have a touching problem, it's important for me to tell an adult I trust about it.
• These are the names of two people I could tell. I could say. "I have a touching problem and I need help."

Words Can Help

• "No!"
• "I'm going to leave now!"
• "I'll tell!"
• "Stop that!"
• "I need your help!"
• "Will you listen to me?"
• "I've got a problem."
• Sometimes it is hard to think of just the right words to say to ask for help or tell someone to stop doing things that you don't like. Words like these can help with the problems big and small. It is good to speak with a firm voice. It is ok to say "No." It is good to ask for help when you need it. It is a good idea to practice saying what you need.

Ramona's Feelings...

I was out on the school grounds playing ball with my best friend. We were having a good time until one of the bigger boys, Jim, came over and flipped up my dress. I felt awful!

Jim laughed and said it was "flip up day." Jim and his friends do this to the girls almost every Friday at lunch recess. I do not think it is funny. I think it is unfair and embarrassing. Sometimes I want to stay inside during recess so Jim and his friends cannot flip up my dress, but I would miss playing with my friends, and that is not fair either.

What Did Jim Mean?

Jim and his friend said, "It was no big deal. We were just kidding around. Everybody does it. It is just a joke." Ramona and Jim were thinking about what happened in two different ways. Jim and all his friends thought they were "just teasing." Ramona felt their teasing was unfair and hurtful. Lots of boys and girls have some kind of trouble at school with teasing or joking around. One person thinks the joke is funny and the other person feels hurt. Sometimes a person can feel so hurt that he or she does not want to come to school.

Many Boys and Girls...

Many boys and girls have had someone grab them, call them names, touch the private parts of their bodies, or make disrespectful comments about them. When these kinds of behavior happen again and again, it is called harassment - and harassment is not okay. Ramona wanted to play with her friends. She was also a little afraid to go out to recess because Jim or one of his friends might come flip up her dress and she would be embarrassed. Ramona was being harassed. She went to the playground teacher and explained what was happening. Ramona asked for help.

What Is Sexual Harassment?

Kinds of teasing that could be harassment:

• Name-calling
• Making disrespectful signs with arms or hands
• Unwanted touching
• Flipping up someone's skirt or pulling down someone's pants or bothering someone's clothing
• Any behavior that makes fun of others or makes another person feel afraid or embarrassed

People Who are Harassed Often Feel

• Afraid
• Mad
• Sad
• Hurt
• Embarrassed
• Confused
• Nothing about these feelings is funny!

A joke should make everyone feel like laughing. Harassment is not a joke. Harassment is not okay.

What If It Happens to You?

• Remember, it is not okay for someone to treat you badly.
• Tell the person who is bothering you to stop, if you can.
• It's not okay for someone to treat you badly.
• Tell someone you trust what is happening to you.
• Telling a friend is a good first step to help you feel less alone. Your friend could help you decide if other people need to be told.
• Tell someone you think can help you, like a parent, teacher or school counselor.
• If the first person you tell does not help, keep telling until someone does help you to stop the harassment.
• Everybody deserves a safe and comfortable place to work and learn.