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| adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse: |
Awareness and understanding of the problem
of child sexual abuse has only recently surfaced. The problem is difficult to
face—both for victims and for society at large.
From Victim to Survivor
Accepting the fact that you were sexually abused as a child is a painful realization. This is the necessary first step in moving from victim to survivor. Denying, minimizing and practicing selective memory are a few of the methods used to protect us from pain-filled memories of childhood sexual abuse. Although these methods succeed in avoiding the pain for a time, they also hold back the healing process.
When you let go of these defense mechanisms and achieve acceptance, you make the transition to survivor. Even so, mixed emotions related to the abuse and the abuser often emerge. Feelings of hate, love, hurt and betrayal are very common. This range of feelings makes sense when you look at the relationship you as a child with the offender. The abuser may have been someone whom you care about and trusted or loved very much; yet, realizing what he/she has done to you creates the feelings of hate and hurt. Your trust was betrayed. Many survivors look back on the abuse as an adult and feel guilty and responsible for the abuse, which in turn stirs up feelings of shame and a sense of being dirty. Remember that you were a child. You were not, as a child, responsible for your abuse. The abuser is totally responsible.
Connecting Past and Present
It is important to make the connection between past abuse and some current problems you may be experiencing. Some of the problems survivors experience are difficulties in trusting others, self-destructive behavior, anger, low sense of self and difficulties with intimate relationships. You may recognize other indicators of being trapped in the past. Making the connection may suggest avenues of change that enable healing.
Healing
Healing is for the purpose of moving forward in our lives. It is not a single event but rather a process. Unlike when you were abused as a child, you now have total control of your healing process. You can define and direct your recovery, in your own time.
There are many resources you may choose to use throughout your process of healing. King County Sexual Assault Resource Center is one resource available to provide support and to share our ideas, knowledge, and referrals as you begin your journey. There is no charge for our services.
If you would like more information or assistance call
our 24-hour Resource and Information line:
1-888-99-VOICE.